Tommy Cooper Jokes
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How nice to hear you are well. Looking forward to seeing you in January. All day yesterday I heard a ringing in my ears. Then I picked up the phone and it stopped.
I was going to see a doctor, but he’s not a very good doctor. All his patients are sick.
The wife and I are on a new diet. We eat breakfast in the raw. Then we eat our lunch in the raw. For dinner we put our clothes on.
See you soon,
The above is a copy of a private letter sent to his mother by the late British comedien Tommy Cooper. He’s not to everyone’s taste but I always found him very funny, even though his jokes were corny like:
A man walks into a bar. It didn’t half hurt, it was an iron bar.
It’s strange isn’t it? You stand in the middle of a library and go, ‘Aaaaaagh!’ and everyone stares at you. But if you do the same thing on a plane everyone joins in.
I’ve got the best wife in England. The other one’s in Africa.
My dog took a bite out of my knee the other day and a friend of mine said, “Did you put anything on it?” I said, “No, he liked it as it was.”
I think inventions are marvellous, don’t you? Wherever they put a petrol pump they find petrol.
It must be getting near Christmas or something!
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